Swearing and Sex

When you learnt English in China, there were certain words that you were not taught: words used for swearing, words redolent of sexual innuendo. All native speakers – the very youngest excepted – will understand what these words mean. Some people will use them frequently, some occasionally, and some not at all. Some people will use them aggressively, and some in a self-deprecating manner (watch, for example, the hilarious scene in which Hugh Grant has overslept and is late for a wedding in Four Weddings and a Funeral) .

However, as a Chinese student studying abroad, you need to understand these words. The reason why they’re so important is that no matter where you may be in the world, you need to know how best to interact with people in agitated and aroused mental states: you need to know when someone is angry; you need to know when someone is “coming on to you”. Knowing what these words mean will help you to diffuse threatening situations, will help you to avoid giving people the wrong impression concerning the degree of “amorous” behaviour that you might find acceptable.

But it’s complicated. Not only can different words be more or less offensive, but the same word can be more or less offensive depending on the context. For example, you’re late for a lecture, and, while hurrying around a corner, you bump into a fellow student, spilling your cup of takeaway coffee all over his shirt and trousers: someone who says Oh, f***k! is in a very different mental state from someone who says F***k you! – the former implies surprise and consternation, the latter evinces belligerence and aggression. So, gleaning an understanding of how the meanings of risqué words vary according to context will help considerably in assessing how strongly someone feels about the person being spoken about – and that person will often be you.

Of course, you should avoid using risqué language yourself unless you are very confident as to how it is likely to be interpreted – and doing so usually requires a good understanding of how English is used in a wide variety of different settings and by people with diverse social backgrounds and personality traits.

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